Christmas Letters - A Mockery

I have always wanted to write one of those clever Christmas letters to send along to all my friends and family. However, I never get around to it as it is hard enough for me to get cards out on time each year.

I always look forward to reading my sister, Gina's annual Christmas letter each year. Gina is a elementary school teacher, who is taking a break to raise her very active and large family. Each year I think she can't possibly come up with another letter so cleverly done - but each and every year I get a new version with a different theme as she makes a mockery of Christmas letters.

Here is her 2009 Christmas letter:

Joey is a frosh at SJU and has already completed his physics major in his first semester. He will get his math major in the 2nd semester and then choose a 3rd major sophomore year. He won Homecoming kind, valedictorian and most intelligent, best looking and most amazing kid on campus.

Johnny is a junior at Becker and took the ACT test Dec 12th. Of course he aced it, getting a perfect score. He completed the 5-hour test in 20 minutes which was amazing since he took the Chinese version just to challenge himself. He also won best looking kid taking the test.

Tommy is a freshman at Becker and has always loved to shoot baskets. On his basketball team he is 100% shooting from all over the court. He hasn't missed a free throw, a 2-point shot and has already made 90 points on just his 3-point shots...in only the first 2 games. (Last game he played blindfolded and was still dropping shots from all over the court.)  He is also the best looking kid in the conference.

Robbie is in 6th grade and is already taller than 2 of his older 3 brothers and is about a 1/2 inch from the last. He loves baseball, football, and basketball and while he is the star of all his teams he seems to be best at baseball. He hit 1.000 again this season as he has since T-ball. Every at bat...Robbie hits a homerun, every batter he pitches to...he strikes out. He is also the best looking kid on all his teams.

Kari is in 4th grade and plays all her sports like she is used to playing with 5 brothers. She is the smartest kid in her school and also had a perfect ACT test. She took the Spanish version and it was in Braille. She used her toes and completed the test in less than an hour. She hit 100% in softball and has not missed a shot in basketball yet this season. Oh, and she is the best looking kid in her school.

Jimmy is in 2nd grade and proves that often God saves the best for last. He was the best flag football player in the league, best baseball player in the state and even though he isn't old enough to play basketball yet, we are sure he is the best at that as well. He is the best looking Benson which is an amazing thing since all the Benson kids are so phenomenally good looking.

So again our kids are better than all of your kids in every way. Enjoy your normal children at Christmas and keep them aiming high by shoing them what they can attain if they strive to be like the Benson children.

Merry Christmas and see you on Facebook.
Gina and Jeff Benson